“You just need to make sure you are not holding yourself back by making excuses when you could be making progress”
Excuses are like wildfire. They spread and spread and spread and never really come to a stop unless an avalanche of the right stuff, in this case, water and whatever else they use to stop a fire is used. That is, it is much better to stop the wildfire spread of excuses while you can before everything falls apart because you didn’t stop the flow of excuses from your brain to the real world.
You see, your brain will try to justify everything that you, in the moment, think is right. Even if what you’re doing is the stupidest thing on the planet, or if you’ve made the same mistake countless times, your brain will still recognize the activity as fun, carefree, and worth it if you are making yourself happy while you’re doing that thing, whatever it may be.
The very thing you make excuses to perform, whether it’s something that could get you in trouble with your parents, your friends, law enforcement, or even yourself, causes you to have such a rush of dopamine(The chemical most associated with happiness and glee) that you want to keep pursuing that specific activity, even though it probably is affecting either your happiness in the long term or your mental state right now and in the future.
There are a few ways to beat this, the simplest being don’t perform that specific activity, but I have found that just telling people this, even myself, rarely makes it so that I or any of my clients stop whatever they compulsively or erratically do for fun.
The first part is simple:
Focus on your passion. The best way to do this is to write down the top 10 things that you absolutely love to do, could make money at, and would be the happiest person on the planet if you weren’t allowed anything else to do. Take that list, and narrow it down to your top 3 choices, then try each of them out for 2 weeks, as a trial period. You will find, that in those 6 weeks, you not only fall in love with one of them, but the thing you used to make excuses for is in the back of your head, so far back that you won’t have thought of it in the 2 weeks since you started the 1 thing that will make your life powerful, worth it, and joyful.
The second part is not so simple:
Continue working toward your goal. I know. It sounds extremely simple, but once you’ve been working toward something you know you can put all of your heart and soul into, and the initial adrenaline rush is over, you will be tested by yourself and the outside world to continue producing content, or whatever it is that you are pursuing. This is easily the hardest part of conquering your own excuses and the excuses of others to pursue what you truly want, not a short lived hour, but joy and fulfillment that lasts a lifetime. If that sounds interesting, keep on reading, because the most important part is next.
You will have to shut yourself completely off from the thing, activity, or compulsion that you normally would have reverted to when something didn’t seem to be going your way. This is crucial. It will be the hardest thing you may have ever done, because you will be cutting off something that you’ve done for a while, and the people you will cut off might include family, friends or coworkers. Now, don’t get me wrong. You definitely do not want to cut them off forever. Just let them know, or whoever you are trying to cease doing an activity with, even if it is just yourself, that the thing you used to do all the time cannot be a part of your life any longer.
This was very difficult for me, because I had to cut myself off from things that I enjoyed with friends and family, but they weren’t worth it in the long run and I am much better off for it now.
Part 3: Staying the Course
Continuing to progress toward your goal may not be the easiest thing at all times, but you must remember why you are here in the first place.
Why did you start a business? Or How come you don’t come to the nightclub anymore? Or my favorite, You are working yourself too hard, come take a break and party. All of these examples are other people’s insecurities within themselves that they project upon you because you are finally taking life seriously and they don’t want you to succeed.
This doesn’t make them a bad person, see, it happens naturally because they worry that they will never do something worthwhile in their entire life.
Does that describe you? Do you worry about your future? Is what you’re doing is making you happy, making you the best possible version of yourself?
If you worry about these things, or have even criticized other people because they were starting to succeed in life and it felt like they were going to make it and you weren’t(It is completely fine, we’ve all done it, all been jealous, the key is how to change, and that comes right here) you need to take a step back from your emotions, take the steps I detailed in this article, and start shaping your life according to what makes you the happiest.
Only then will you find it easier than ever to not judge people, and not care about what other people think about you, which is the key to living the life you want.
Everyone will try and shoot your dreams down at some point because of an internal fear that has nothing to do with you except for the fact that you are the one they are projecting their insecurities on.
You just need to make sure you are not holding yourself back by making excuses when you could be making progress. That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is the key to success.
If you’ve made it this far, I want you to know I appreciate you and I want you to come back whenever you have any type of problem, whether it involves your mental, physical, or emotional health, and I promise you, we will help you fix it.
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