7 minute read
Chaos will surround us in perpetuity. The challenge is to overcome it and become something greater. Something that you thought was only a dream or a previous fascination of your childhood. To allow that thought to come to fruition is the most beautiful process.
As Donna Karan, a multimillionaire fashion designer, says:
“It’s all about finding the calm in the chaos”
This is the very essence of life itself. The universe is built in a way to reward those who put the work in. This isn’t a rant about religion or God, quite the opposite.
The notion about the Golden Rule, as originally pondered by Confucius, “Do not impose on others what you do not wish for yourself, ” carries all the weight in the world when talking about chaos.
You will be bombarded with thousand of insane tasks, emotional weights, mental stressors, and physical impossibilities throughout your life. I’ve yet to meet most of them, but when they come, I’ll be ready because there is a rule that I follow that holds true in every circumstance of life.
As Tom Bilyeu says, “The ‘luckiest’ among us are always the most prepared“.
Put in the work, and you will reap the rewards.
Of course, this will not hold true in all situations, but if you expect to show up to life unprepared and have things(money, clothes, love, confidence, happiness) given to you, you are in a for a cosmic sized surprise.
This is how I lived the first part of my life, and ever since I’ve switched my mindset from a state of no control to a state of doing and loving what I can control and understanding how the consequences of bad choices weigh into your emotions, mental state, physical well-being, and psychological stability, my life has catapulted in the opposite direction to a place where I love everything because I know that I cannot control everything.
That is really root cause of chaos, is it not? A feeling or an actual loss of control. This brings me back to the first quote by Donna Karan. A fantastic metaphor that I’ve found in my own life is driving on a crowded highway.
At any time, a car could jerk toward you, crashing into you, or that huge 18-wheeler could be holding something that tips the car over onto its side, or somebody’s car could spark and start on fire. These are obviously extreme examples, but there is always that voice in the back of your head telling you, “You have no business being here, you are not in control, go back to your couch and die of mediocrity”.
Now, that quote may not be the same for everyone, but it is the response our brain gives us when we experience something so uncomfortable, so extreme that we are not used to, we cry, weep, and go back into our safe, completely controlled environments where nothing can go wrong.
You wanna know the problem with these environments, which most of us spend over 75% of our day?
They allow no room for growth.
Growth is everything. Growth only comes, from connecting a few dots from aforementioned statements in this post, from chaos and uncertainty.
You will not be happy without growth. You will not be fulfilled without growth. You will ZERO purpose without growth. You will die filled with regret without growth. You will hate yourself without growth.
Review your life, analyze the mother******* crap out of your life, daily habits, and figure out how long you are in comfortable areas or situations where you know you are not growing, getting better, but you stay there because it’s easy.
Then you will see that I am right. Growth is unavoidable. It comes across as incredibly daunting in the beginning, but once you experience a bit of growth in any part of your life, you will crave it with an insatiable hunger. Have you ever wanted a few Oreos, then when you eat a couple, you eat an entire sleeve? This is exact same thing that happens in your brain when you accomplish something worthwhile, and it evens occurs with the same hormone: Dopamine.
When you get a hit of dopamine from your brain, you feel happy, which you unknowingly associate with the Oreos in the first example. In the second example, performing tasks that will help every aspect of everything in this thing called life, you will get more dopamine the more you can perform uncomfortable tasks, eventually at a high enough level that people admire you for it and you get paid for it.
If you don’t know what to do with this information, here are a few examples:
If you are struggling with your weight, look up home workouts without weight, and actually do them, and when you feel happy after you’ve literally changed the chemical makeup of your body, understand that the workout is what produced the happiness.
If you are struggling with confidence, make it your goal to talk to 3 new people tomorrow, and not just exchange words, but actually strike up a goddamn conversation!! What is the worst that could happen? They spit in your face? Yeah, not very likely. When you feel happy after talking to those people, understand that the awkwardness of the conversations and human contact produced the happiness.
If you are struggling with mental health, depression, or any other mental affliction, eat something healthy, immediately, because there are dozens of studies linking your gut health to happiness(and I wrote an entire post on it(Gut Health).
Also, call the person who you either hate the most or love the most and just talk. Don’t try to change the person you hate, try to understand them more. Don’t try to make yourself feel safe with the person you love, try to figure out a way to meet up with them in person for lunch. When you hang up the phone, and feel better from either circumstance, understand that the getting out of your comfort zone is what produced the happiness.
In all of these situations, which I know every one of you are struggling with in some capacity, there is one constant: Chaos.
In the past, you have shied away from chaos, uncertainty, being uncomfortable, and awkward social situations. You have done these things because it felt good to be safer, then, afterward, you couldn’t understand why you didn’t feel happiness or joy consistently.
It was the fact that you were not putting yourself in these very human situations and trying to get better by accomplishing the most human thing possible: Change.
Don’t try to change everything in one day, because you will just end up more unhappy than before. Change one thing at a time, slowly, creating more of yourself as you put yourself in more and more uncomfortable situations. You will be shocked, as I was, at the speed of how the results come flooding in.
Standing in the shower one day, you will realize just how far you have come. Scream that shit into the air and be elated with yourself. That is called happiness. That is everything. Get there and come back and DM me about how you love your life. You will cease to hate your life. You will be fulfilled.
Remember, amazing things are the hardest to accomplish. That means that they have the greatest reward. If you want a great life, or if you just want to be happier, then I cannot stress enough how important it is to every single aspect of your life that you get your ass up on out of that bed, couch, or whatever place holds your mediocrity, and start living your life.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I love you guys. There is nothing more important to me than personal progress. I want to help as many people as humanly possible. I’ve experienced both sides of the happiness spectrum dozens of times, and the only way that I know to consistently to be on the positive side of the spectrum is to do the hard things daily and feel the inescapable, rushing, colossal happiness and joy that you feel from doing hard things daily.
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